X-Men (2000)

  • Directed by: Bryan Singer
    • Other movies: X-Men 2, X-Men: First Class, Superman Returns, Valkyrie, Usual Suspect (really!?, ok, way more respect for him than I already had)
  • Notable Cast:
    • Pretty much everybody
    • Hugh Jackman (Wolverine, A.K.A. all the plots are based on me)
    • Patrick Stewart (Xavier, interesting that a Shakespearean actor playing two of the most recognized nerdtacular characters of all time)
    • Ian McKellen (Magneto, you might know him as Gandalf, but you might not know that he is flaming gay. Not saying this a bad thing, but check out his appearance on Saturday Night live, ridiculously funny).
    • Halle Berry (Storm, I list her under “notable” because you’ve probably heard of her and not because she has great acting ability)
    • Rebecca Romijn (Mystique, however, in this case, I DO mention super model Rebecca Romijn because of her acting ability, and not at all because she may or may not look good in a blue paint and a few pasties)

    I don’t remember much of this one, and...eh. I don’t really care. If you wanna watch it go ahead, I remember it being entertaining and enjoyable, but nothing to write about it...wait.  I will go over what I DO remember. The beginning started out introducing Wolverine in a truck for some reason traveling with a little girl and Sabretooth attacks. (Side note, Sabertooth is kinda off in this one, I much prefer the Sabretooth in the Wolverine movie, and yes, the “R” goes before the “E”, I looked it up).
     And, as always, Cyclops gets his magic goggles knocked off and can’t do anything otherwise he’ll kill everybody ‘cus his superpower is melting everything around him without control of what he melts (kind of a crappy ass superpower). While we’re on that note, wouldn’t most mutations be more like this? If we’re talking about evolution here, most of these “powers” would be kinda useless and just a few would be wicked awesome. Of course, no one is going to make a movie about a dude who dispenses mayonnaise out of his armpits like a “Would You Rather” game. And that’s not to say that in the X-Men universe, there isn’t a dude who dispenses mayonnaise out his armpits...but he probably wouldn't be fighting crime with that ability, at most he’d be a detective using his non-mayo based powers. But...moving on.
    In the end, they wind up at the Statue of Liberty (because in a super hero movie, if you put a national monument in it, it means it’s good) and Toad dies for some reason. I don’t need to get into it here, because the people that I am totally copying, Cracked.com, (with slightly less swearing) already covered this ridiculous death here in the article 5 Most Easily Avoidable Movie Deaths part 2.


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