It’s not what you think. I’m not a bad boyfriend. Well, I’m sure I could work on a few things like we all can, but not sending her flowers isn’t one of the things I need to work on.
In fact, I’m the first one to send her flowers. Also, I sent her flowers just a couple of weeks and totally surprised her. Because I’m just that good. (that's her hiding behind the roses I sent her the first time).
So why am I not sending her flowers for Valentines Day, do you ask?
Well, because she asked me not to.
I know, right? Kind of weird. But when she explained it, it totally made sense.
She explained it TOTALLY sucks when you’re single and someone else gets flowers for Valentines Day. Just makes you feel like total shit. (If you haven’t read my article about “Be Your Own Valentine” from Dove a couple years ago, click here, I agree, it sucks).
But it sucks even worse as a woman during Valentines Day when you’re single. She explained that so much of women’s identity in our culture (and probably in most) that is tied to having a boyfriend or husband, that if you don’t have one, and everyone else does, you feel like you’re less important, or that perhaps you failed at being a good enough person to attract a boyfriend.
So, this year, even though she has an amazing boyfriend (me), she is going out with her single girlfriends to celebrate being cool ladies and just spend time with the lady folk. And I support that.
She also explained that, instead of celebrating Valentines Day, she celebrates International Women’s Day.
First, let me tell you a little about origins of Valentines Day.
Here’s a great Cracked article on the origin of Valentines:
Feel free to read the whole thing, but the bottom line is this:
“The reality is that Valentine appears to have been executed for much more traditional "pagan vs. Christian" theological debate reasons after neither he nor the emperor could convert the other. The ban on Roman soldiers getting hitched never actually occurred, and for good reason: Marriage benefited both Rome and the Legion. It'd cause less uproar to change the rules to draft married men than to ban them.”
So, the “origin” of St. Valentines day is a myth that has been debunked. Further more, the Catholic Church used to have a “feast day” for St. Valentine...but they cut it out of the Calendar because: “Though the memorial of Saint Valentine is ancient, it is left to particular calendars, since, apart from his name, nothing is known of Saint Valentine except that he was buried on the Via Flaminia on February 14."
So, unlike Valentines Day, we do know the origin of International Women’s Day. Originally called International Working Women's Day, it had its beginnings in Chicago and New York, but later picked up by the women’s socialist parties in Germany and Russia, mainly to promote equal rights for women and women's suffrage. Women in Russia first celebrated the day in 1913, and hence forth, it’s observed on March 8th.
International Women’s Day is for ALL women, not just women who have a boyfriend or a husband, but every woman, single, married, working, mothers, sisters, etc...
So, I will not be sending flowers to my girlfriend on Valentines Day, but I WILL be sending her something for International Women’s day. I just hope I don’t have to buy flowers for all her coworkers that day. If so, probably won’t be a dozen roses. Maybe a dozen smarties.
What is my point? I think it’s kind of dumb that we have a day that we’re all expected to be romantic. YOU SHOULD BE ROMANTIC WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE IT, definately more often than one freaking day.
But if you happen to buy chocolates or flowers for your loved one on Valentines Day, that’s fine, I’m not judging. But I do encourage you to join me in celebrating International Women’s Day also on March 8th this year...and not just your wife or girlfriend, but your co-worker, boss lady, pastor lady, or whatever. ‘Cus women are awesome...we all came from one. ;)
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