Blade Runner 2049


Short Review: It’s beautiful. And boring. Kind of the like the first one. Only more so on both accounts.


Long Review:

Twenty minutes into Blade Runner 2049 I was interested and intrigued. An hour and forty minutes, I was still intrigued, but wondering how many more beautiful places we would go before we found something that actually moved the plot forward.


Spoilers. But, honestly, it won’t matter.


Two and a half hours later we finally meet a new character promised...and wasn’t needed.


As I said earlier, spoilers.


I like Harrison Ford. But his character, Deckard, was not necessary in this movie. And, had his character been written out, it would have been about forty minutes shorty which would have been good for this movie.


Here’s a question for Hollywood: Why do you keep making me sit through three freekin’ hours of movie!  Is it making you more money?!  NO!  The tickets are the same!  You’d actually make MORE money if you made more movies but made them shorter!


This brings me to my next gripe. EDITING. We, as viewers, tend to forget about good editing. We remember the actors, the directors, maybe even the writers of the original story or script. But the editor is what COULD save a movie from being way too long and cutting it down to a palatable movie for theater viewing.


True, there are some bummer circumstances where a movie was shaved down to 90 minutes when the full movie made more sense and was actually decent.  But a really good film fires on all cylinders. The director, script/story creator, actors, editors, producers, sound designers etc... all work together to make a finish product shine.


This movie really only had one thing going for it, the cinematography. The story was week (though if it were cut down and tweaked a bit, it could have been very interesting), the acting was ok, the directing was fine. But if you do watch it (don’t waste you money on a full priced theater ticket, maybe a matinee, second run theater....maybe), keep an eye out for the super wide shots.


I’ll bet half the movie is super wide shots of incredible scenery. Seriously, this movie IS beautiful. And I could tell that most of the visual effects were in camera. Meaning, very little CGI, and what was there was just used to enhance the existing models etc...


UGH. I was literally screaming in the parking lot after seeing this movie about how boring it was.


If you played this in the background without any sound on it would be a really neat, very beautiful slideshow of post apocalyptic scenery.


If you’re a fan of the original fine, see it, but be prepared. But dear god, don’t force a friend who isn’t a super fan of the original. They’ll hate you for it.


Also, can we stop asking poor old Harrison Ford being in sequels of his movies from the 80s? Please? He was good in Star Wars Force Awakens, but he wasn’t needed in Blade Runner 2049. Apparently they’re making another Indiana Jones movie with him, can we not?


Just let him stay at home with Calista Flockhart. Halloween is coming up, keep an eye out for both of them when they go out Trick R Treating.



Also, can Hollywood please stop giving us really cool sci-fi movies with robots in them, making them fight, and just punching each other? Can’t we think of something else to make robots do to each other, rather than just punching?!


Also, if this is setup to have a sequel....kill me.


Rant almost over.


If there was a movie that would be a perfect example of the definition of anticlimactic, this movie would fit the bill.


In a conversation with a friend, I accidentally said Ryan Reynolds instead of Ryan Gosling.


Then he said “Wouldn’t this movie have been better if Deadpool was in it?”




Now there’s a movie I can watch over and over again.




Instead of watching Blade Runner 2049, watch Deadpool instead.


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